Searching for Kailee
I needed a way to get your attention, Please read this testimonial and I promise you that you will not be disappointed you gave me the five miutes of your time to read...
My name is Ivan
I had a very close friend of mine, (my High school sweet heart)of whom I held very dear to my heart die three months after my daughter was born.
Let me clarify, this woman (her name is Alexandra) was not the mother of my Daughter. I remained her friend because I still cared for her very much.
That day Alexandra was killed while we were talking on the phone, she was on her way home from a night club. I attempted to convince her to pull over and sleep it off, but she insisted and drove dunk into a wall on a major highway in Texas(I heard the whole thing)
I fell into a complete shut down, I walked in the valley of the shadow of death call drepression, and i turned my back to everyone that tried to help me. I even turned my back on my daughter.
The last time I held Kailee she 6 months old, she was born in 2000. I haden't seen or talked with my daughter for 8 and half years. I even ran from trying to pay my child support. (I was such a dummy...)
After a series of events and the death of an Uncle who played the father figure roll better than my own dad, I realized how short life is... I also realized the reason I felt so empy inside, attempting to fill a hollow heart with the love from any woman to replace the love I lost for a friend. (I lost faith in myself after letting go of the only woman that even gave me hope, yet she never knew who I really wanted to be when I was with her.)
I somehow forgot about the unconditional love that a parent is given. The love that one has, no matter how big the mistake, they love you so much anyway..... A love that I missed out with my daughter.
On June 26, 2009 I left Hialeah, Florida with no job, no money, only some clothes and my pickup. I set out to meet my daughter Kailee for the first time after 8 and half years.
I set out on a search to meet her not having a clue as to where she lived except the state she was born in, Maine.
As I traveled the east coast homeless, and no money, I stopped at few houses offering to wash thier car, or any labor they could use for spare cash. Cash I would use for gas, food and campground costs.
on that day I realised my greatest mistake in life was missing out on the growing developement of my child.
I guess I needed to learn how to let go and love myself before could understand how much a child motivates a person. How History repeats itself when I take up the role as parent from being the child.
I began to understand the sacrifices my mother made, to give my family all that lacked. Everything she as a child didn't have when my mother was growing up in a third world country. I could sympathize with doing the best that you can when there is no one to guide you, or pushing everyone away because you don't know who you can trust.
When I started this website I started it prematurely in the hopes of finding my daughter ad reuniting myself with Kailee.
As my search for Kailee grew so did I. Too much time had passed, and Kailee is now 9 years old. By coming into her world I could either leave some emotional scares, or answer the unanswered questions.
I wanted to be the hero that comes back into the life of a child, I had a fairy tale all drawn up in my head, the reality was far from it.....
My misconception was that I believed I was becoming a hero in her life by re-entering Kailee’s life. After having witnessed how either a loss of a parent or a lack of one in a child’s life could be very detrimental to their youth.
For reasons that are not by any means excusable, it took the death of a relative for me to wake up and see the importance of my child in my life.
This whole time I felt that my Primary statement was true, “In the eyes of a child stands a hero, even if the hero is simply a parent.” Only I thought, I was talking about myself. I really thought that I was the hero for entering back into her life. Truth is Kailee’s parents are the hero’s.
I was given the privilege to meet my daughter on January 16th 2010, and she is so beautiful. The day I met Kailee, the courts had granted me one day visitation. Kailee’s parents Jamie and Aaron gave me a second day with Kailee, and their family.
They truly are the Hero’s in this story.
As I said I thought at first I was the one that was the Hero in Kailee’s life for my conscious effort to change the person that I had become, to the person that I am now.
As my search to find Kailee became my ambition, so has my daughter’s acceptance become my greatest accomplishment.
The reward for my efforts is the approval of Kailee’s parents to be apart of her life, in some way, in some form. Even if it’s just watching her grow up on the sidelines, I can wait for Kailee to understand that she has the father that has raised her (Aaron), and the man that created her (Ivan), to love her and share her because she is that precious of a gift from heaven.
Please read more, surf through the pages. if you really want to know all the details of this story you just have to buy the book follow the services tab to get the link to amazon . com....
